It feels weird to let a year go by without commemorating one of the most significant days of my life.
You see, eight years ago on March 29th, my mother passed away from breast cancer.
This irrevocably changed my life and has become a significant part of my identity. It is almost impossible for me to talk about who I am or what I have done without defining that as the backdrop.
Something I have learned since moving to Oklahoma is that lives move on. I have moved to Oklahoma and must continue in the day-to-day comings and goings of my life. While I miss my friends, and I know they miss me, they too must continue in their lives.
In such a way, my life has continued without my mother. I have grown as a separate individual.
This year, March 29th fell the day after I returned from ACPA. I spent the day at work catching up on things I had missed through the week. It was only during a brief ten minutes that I was sitting at my desk between my regular work hours and a student-run program in the evening that I even realized the significance of the day.
That’s how long it has been. I’ve gone from feeling the pain of her loss every year to barely remembering. Maybe I should feel guilty about that. But I don’t. It is a special day in my life that I do commemorate in my mind and in my heart. But my life has moved on.
I still remember. I still hold tight to the memory of my mother. It’s still something that has changed my life. But I have moved out of the pain and into the living.