date a person who breathes, if you want

I have seen a lot of articles in the past few days about why I should date a girl (it’s always a girl, never a woman – anyone else notice that?) who does this, or why a woman should date a man (always a man, never a boy – anyone else notice that?) who does this. I mean, yeah, this is a trend that has gone around since, what, MySpace? Chain e-mail? Everyone posts their thing. Lately, I have been annoyed with social media trends – everyone posting different opinions on similar content. All I see is “I’m single and lonely and it sucks.” Or “I’m in a relationship and it’s awesome YAYYY MEEE.”

See, single people these days are proud to be upset that they are single. Why do I think they are proud? Because why else would you deliberately and intentionally post something in a place where everyone you know can see it? I am more about being satisfied with where and who I am, so this drives me a bit crazy. Yes, sure, sometimes wish I had someone to take out to a fancy dinner or buy flowers for or… whatever it is people do in relationships (how should I even know?), but most of the time I am content where I am in life.

So when I see, in one day, multiple people sharing reasons why I should date a girl who does this or that (from very specific dance to travel to reading to so many other things), it makes me think about how I can respond in a witty fashion. So I took to Twitter with a few thoughts…

In response to all the “date a guy/gal who does [THIS THING]” articles I have seen the past few weeks, I’m writing my own;

— Nathanial G. (@nathanialjg) January 7, 2014

“Date a person who breathes, if you want.”

— Nathanial G. (@nathanialjg) January 7, 2014

To which one of my friends replied:

@nathanialjg THIS IS THE BEST THING YOU HAVE WRITTEN YOU CAN NOW RETIRE

— Joshua Blount (@stickwithjosh) January 7, 2014

Fueled by the momentum of positive response, and holding further thoughts in my brain on the subject, I decided to continue…

Seriously though, like, I get it. My future person needs to be a dancing, softball-playing, reading, writing, biking person who has traveled

— Nathanial G. (@nathanialjg) January 7, 2014

I’m just done with being told that I should be dating, and who I should be dating. MAYBE I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE WITH MY PIZZA.

— Nathanial G. (@nathanialjg) January 7, 2014

My comment about pizza received this response;

@nathanialjg NO. THAT WAS THE BEST THING YOU HAVE WRITTEN. NOW RETIRE.

— Trista Shideler (@tristaraes) January 7, 2014

And I continued…

Plus, like, there are too many great books coming out in 2014 and great movies coming out in 2015 for me to have time or money to date.

— Nathanial G. (@nathanialjg) January 7, 2014

I am not saying that books and movies cannot be appreciated in company. I AM saying that I cannot afford a fancy dinner AND books/ movies.

— Nathanial G. (@nathanialjg) January 7, 2014

And finally…

Okay, I think I am done ranting. On this topic. For now.

— Nathanial G. (@nathanialjg) January 7, 2014

What do you think of all these “date an [X] who [does Y thing]” articles? Weigh in down in comments.