Falling Into and Breaking Cycles

It certainly seems that I am falling into a cycle again.

Here’s the deal: I set my goals in late December, early January. For the last few years, it has been to run less and use that time to write more. I figure my tangible way to make that happen is to use the time when I wake up early to write instead of to run. It will work out a few times. I will make it to a coffee shop and get a few sessions of writing in.

I took this picture of my California hometown the other day while visiting, and it seemed like a bummer to not use it somewhere, so here we are.

Then, the next couple days I figure I will be a bit more low-key.

I read a bit, I try to engage in other things.

My writing — in this space and in general, falls off.

I get to March or April and try to start again. The same thing happens.

Then I get to the fall and decide to make it for my writing failure by running some heavy mileage.

Then I realize I have spent too much time not creating, and the cycle starts again.

I have been saying since last March that I want to get a Patreon account started. I have written out the shell of one. I have friends that have said they will review it when I am ready. But I keep getting stuck in fear and uncertainty, which puts me in a place of being scared to ask for help.

Like, should I leave the name for my Patreon account as me (the author), or the name of the self-publishing company I will publish under?

What is a reasonable amount to set my tiers at? (Patreon seems to have resources for this, I just keep second-guessing myself)

The ongoing story I want to write for the next year or so and share in zine form still does not have a name, and I am not sure what to do about that — I have never been very good at titles.

I was really hoping to launch on January 22nd, but the reality is that I am on vacation today and everything is not set the way it needs to be.

I sent the first issue of the story out for a last round of edits – I am trying to be particularly careful with the first issue to create the best quality story and product that I can. At this point, I am hoping for a mid-February launch.

On the other hand, I am very excited to be close to a point where I can launch — I have been chatting with some friends about it while I have been in California. I plan to spend time over the next month getting final details sorted for issue one, editing issue two, and starting work on issue three.